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11/22/24 -- I forgot about this blog my bad

first post!! - life update/ramblings

I completely forgot about that I made this site. sorry for the inactivity the past 3 months!! :(
It's weird thinking back to when I initially made the site. At the time I was super excited for my freshman year of community college and now my first semester’s almost over. I don’t really care for the typical college experience but college isn’t what I hoped it’d be. I wanted to be know at least one person on campus. I know absolutely nobody there and the people I do vaguely know were from my high school. It might be better if I can convince my friends to take a class with me or have classes at similar times next semester but Id like to meet other people too. I hope next year there’s more opportunities to meet people since I was limited a lot by circumstances.

Academically, I was struggling really bad in one class. I don’t know how I kept up honestly but I made it through that 7-week and decided I’ll never do that to myself again. That class on top of the dramatic life events I was going through really tested my sanity. My classes now are really easy, probably too easy since I keep forgetting to do assignments until the last second. Ive missed a few low point assignments in one of them because of this habit so its somewhat concerning. I think I’ll get through this semester fine as long as my procrastination is at a minimum.

Apart from classes and homework, ive had so much free time that I don’t know what to do with myself. I wish i could spend more time with my friends but I understand they’re busy. They have work, school, etc. and it’s somewhat annoying since the only day we all have free time is Sunday. Im very fortunate i’m in a position where I don’t have to work or have much obligations outside of household chores and school but I feel that the lack of obligation has gotten me stuck in this loop where I don’t do much with the time I have. i’ve felt so unmotivated and stationary. I’ll think “damn I need to get a hobby, touch some grass, SOMETHING” then scroll for another hour. I really need to start limiting myself since it’s becoming unhealthy.

If anything, yesterday I broke out of that cycle for a good few hours. I actually got myself to finish an art piece and I was really happy I did. I have a bad habit of starting sketches, maybe coloring and lining them a bit, then leaving them to rot in my drafts once a new idea pops up. but this time I finished it!! It’s given me the confidence boost I’ve needed. I think I’ll challenge myself again with a stop at the grocery store today. I havent left my house for awhile (apart from school) so I should get some of that fresh air from the cleaning products aisle into my system. I’ll probably get some snacks for my cat too while im at it.

I don’t have anything else to rant about now it so if someone out there found this and read to this point, thanks!! :) Im not sure how often I’ll update this blog since its not a huge priority for me but most likely tomorrow since I’ve been watching arcane and I’m sure I’ll have lots of thoughts after the last three episodes.